Just so you're aware, I'm no longer dating Chadd. He broke it off a couple days early yesterday. I don't know if I was quite prepared for it and it left me speechless. I was kind of just going along, enjoying what time I had with him not really thinking about how exactly the end was going to go down later this week and then BAM. He ended it. I think he underestimated how emotionally invested I was in the relationship. I think I may even have underestimated it a little bit. But it all came down to the fact that we're at different places in our lives and there's not much we can do about it.
However, I think that this past week or so, maybe even longer, there was a huge lack of communication. Not just on his part, but on my own as well. I didn't know it was so hard for him and he wouldn't tell me about it or anything, even when I asked. I didn't show him that I really did care a lot about him, which I thought I did, but I think I need to reevaluate how I show things, because he felt like I didn't care at all, like it wasn't hard at all for me. You know, even if I am talking big, like I'm not very affected by the whole situation, it's all a front to make myself not realize how much it really does hurt. I do hurt and my heart aches a bit. It was only a five week relationship, but Chadd and I spent a lot of time together and we got to know each other fairly well and ending a connection like that is hard. I'd have to be heartless to say I don't care.
It hurts to know it's over. It hurts to know he's upset with me and I don't quite know why. It just hurts.