Saturday, November 15, 2008

Nostalgic.

One of my ex boyfriends is leaving on his mission this Wednesday. He and I have been texting a little bit, just talking about our lives and things that have been happening recently. We've even talked a little bit about us and how we dated three years ago and how things ended badly, but it wasn't our choice. Talking to him made me want to review things through my own perspective, so I busted out my old journals.
Man, I gushed and gushed. It's pretty juvenile, but it was sincere. It's interesting to look back on the things that happened and then how I handled the aftermath of the relationship. Since then I haven't been able to maintain a relationship because I haven't been quite as happy. I feel silly for judging my relationships now against one from when I was sixteen but at the same time, I was really happy then. I want to be that happy again, with someone else.
Someday I will be.

I also bought the new Anberlin CD today. It's awesome. This song is sort of related to this post, but not really. I still really like it

Retrace
Oh, how I've tried to get you out of my head.
And I lied with broken words I said.
Never thought I'd walk on this street again.
Standing where it all began.

Tried to forget when I left this town,
But it takes me right back when I come back around.

Retrace the steps we took on that long summer night.
I'm back by your side.
Retrace the steps we took when we met worlds away.
Counting backwards while the stars are falling.

Oh, how I find every subtle thing screams your name.
It reminds me of places of times we shared.
Couldn't live locked in these memories.
Now I'm chained to my thoughts again.

And I tried to forget when I left this town,
But I'll take you right back if you come back around.

Retrace the steps we took on that long summer night.
I'm right there by your side.
Retrace the steps we took when we met worlds away.
Counting backwards while the stars are falling.

I need some shelter, I need some safety.
Photographs, they haunt me lately.
Chasing shadows as the evening takes me.
I'm still searching, but the picture's fading.

Retrace the steps we took on that long summer night.
I'm right there by your side.
Retrace the steps we took when we met worlds away.
Counting backwards, still counting backwards.

And no where else has ever felt like home.
And I can't fall asleep when I'm lying here alone.
I replay your voice, it's like you're here.
You move the earth, but now the sky is falling.

Retrace the steps we took on that long summer night.
In my mind, I'm back by your side.
Retrace the steps we took when we met worlds away.
Counting backwards while the stars are falling.

2 comments:

bird said...

is this about pince?

eww.

Manda said...

Yep, it's about Vince. He's still a good kid, just the whole thing ended so badly and we handled it badly and his mom is awful.