"Autumn, the year's last, loveliest smile"

I know I might talk a lot about how much I love Summer and the hot weather it brings (or doesn't bring, in this year's case), but I love Fall.

Today it was cold and overcast and it looked a bit stormy, even. I can't remember the last time it rained. I can't remember the last time I wore a coat but still thought it was cold. I can't remember the last time I wished so badly for cooler weather so I can bust out scarves and cardigans and cute hats! Fall! Where have you been? I have missed you and I didn't even know it!

I love Fall. I'm so excited for it. It's going to be great because not only are fall fashions awesome, but the Holidays are awesome. Halloween is a big favorite, followed closely by Thanksgiving (Christmas comes in as a very very close third, but I'm a foodie. The food holiday wins.) There's just something sort of magical about the way the leaves turn and slowly fall away. The crispness of the cold breezes are chilling, but exciting. For some reason, the air always smells so good.

It's going to be a good season, I can feel it. All the downturns that have taken place recently are going to right themselves and I'm going to barrel through the next set of obstacles life has to put in my path. I'm going to hear more live music (just went to a Danger Friends USA show tonight) and I'm going to spend more time with people I enjoy. I'm going to plan more to start my own business.

Can you feel the excitement? Are you ready?

Let's go.

"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional"

I don't know if you know this, but long distance relationships are hard. It's hard because when there's someone you're attracted to enough to make them the one and only romance in your life, you only have communication to lean on. There's no date night, there's no snuggling up and watching a movie, there's no holding hands while walking around town. The ability to talk and hold conversation for hours on end becomes crucial.

I don't know where I'm going with this. I feel as though I'm just writing to calm the storm in my mind.

Five months of long distance is a long time. Five months with only four days of actually being together. It's impressive and depressing at the same time. How can a relationship survive five months with only four days of being together? I'm not sure. Maybe it was just a really awesome friendship. Maybe it was something really good, really rare. Whatever it was, it was pretty rad.

Most good things come to an end, as did this one. At least a break. Who knows. It's a bummer, but there's nothing we can do. Greg's boss is a jerk who is determined to plan his life and course in the Coast Guard for him and I have a few nasty things to say to that man. But I won't because I'm determined to see what the outcome of this all will be. Months away, but it won't be intolerable.

2010 has been full of ups and downs.
I've braced myself for what comes next.
Bring it.

To the spider that bit my finger and filled it with poison:

THIS
IS
WAR

Let me predict the outcome: I win.

Oh that Ozark Princess

I had this dream last night in which I wanted to move in with some girls into an apartment in Salt Lake City. It was pretty big, with a nice balcony outside and a big open kitchen. I was stoked. But then one of the girls told me about the Ozark Princess.

Apparently there was some curse that had been put on my friend and she was being haunted by this ghostly princess. The creepy looking ghost was able to open any sliding or swinging door at random. She'd swoop right out at you, stick her face in yours, and let out this terrifying scream. You were't allowed to open your mouth fully, you had to keep your teeth clenched while addressing her, otherwise she's rush into your body through your mouth and torture you. It was actually pretty vivid and frightening to watch. I remember thinking, "But doesn't your mouth end up hurting if you clench your teeth all day, every day?" But it's okay, the ghost didn't like oranges.

If you ate anything orange flavored, you'd be able to open your mouth and not worry about having your soul invaded. Together the roommates and I stuffed the freezer full of orange Popsicles and hunted down all the recipes for orange rolls and bunt cakes and muffins we could find. Then I went in my room and made sure A) I had a healthy supply of orange skittles and orange mike&ikes on every surface available, and B) That my doors were not sliding or if they swung, that they had good, strong locks. Then I lived in the apartment and had to face the Ozark Princess with clenched teeth daily. It was terrifying.

But, in reality the Ozark Princess came from a short independent film I was in. I got an email yesterday saying they want to send me a copy of the finished product. I'm not sure how that all translated into evil ghost who invades your soul, but doesn't like orange popsicles...but it made for an interesting dream, that's for sure.

Case of the Ex

Ex boyfriend is a funny term. Funny in the sense that the whole relationship you have with this person has, often times, pulls a complete 180 going from being intimate and adoring each other to, more than likely, a catty disdain for one another.

When I think about all the guys I've dated and where I stand with them now, I'm almost overwhelmed with how many of them I'm on good terms with. Not just I-Don't-Mind-That-You-Exist good terms, I'm talking Let's-Chill-This-Weekend kind of good terms. I can safely say that I would have no qualms with hanging out with pretty much every guy I used to date. Except two, but that's a different story.

Last night I was going to a party at a friends house and I knew it would be a pretty relaxed thing, complete with food, pool, and video games. Before leaving the house I happed to have a conversation with a guy I dated briefly in high school. I haven't really seen him since, save for a few super awkward drug store run-ins. On a whim I invited him to this party, thinking he'd decline, but I felt bad that he was staying home on a Friday night. Of course he didn't decline. Even better, the party consisted of the host and his girlfriend when we got there. I was a little uneasy, since this was one of those ex boyfriends where it had potential to be super awkward but it could also be just fine and I wasn't sure which way it would go.

It was fine, it was fun, it was relaxed.

I don't know why I seem to get along so well with the majority of my ex boyfriends, but there's something relieving about that. It's nice to not have that animosity towards people and to know they don't feel it for you.

After all these years, it's nice to know that's not there.

A list.

I don't know how many times I've sat down to try and write a blog post about something relatively interesting. I think I'm failing at it.

There have been a few things that have absolutely rocked these past couple weeks, but nothing that makes me want to run around in circles then gush on the internet. So, for the sake of keeping the blog life alive, here are five things I love:


1. My short hair. I was pretty hesitant to cut all my hair off into an a-line bob, but I decided on a whim back in January that it was something I wanted to do. So I did it. I love it. Sometimes I feel like a little girl again, since I grew up with short hair, but for the most part I feel sophisticated. It's refreshing to have short hair. Easy to take care of.

2. Music. I went to a Something Corporate concert for their reunion tour about a week ago and it was fantastic. I love how into the music the band was and how into it everyone else was. Something about knowing every word to a song and singing it out loud, whether it's at a concert or in the car, is so much fun. Music makes me feel alive.

3. Dancing. I haven't done much dance lately, but I love it whenever I get the opportunity to do it. I recently went out to a live show at The Viper Room on the sunset strip in LA. I was disappointed by the lack of movement in the room. Granted, it wasn't much of a dance concert, but it was still groovy music. I need to get out to a salsa club or something.

4. Fall. There aren't words for how excited I am for the weather to cool down and the leaves to start changing. Something about seeing halloween decorations popping up all over the place makes me giddy. I love the scent of apples and cinnamon. I love wearing sweaters and trendy scarves and all the muted fall colors. So stoked for Fall right now.

5. Pajamas. There is nothing better than chilling in my room with sweats and a tank top. Love it.