Monday, June 16, 2008

BYU-Idaho dating [love it & hate it]

newsflash: for my new and improved opinion on BYUI dating, check out the bottom of the page.  I updated it.

Having been a part of the BYU-Idaho community for almost a year now, I've come to realize that the way things are done here is very different from what I was accustom to. For example, almost everything in class is 'on your honor'. You can take tests at your apartment, on your honor that you won't open the text book for answers or ask your roommate or call a friend. It's on your honor that you were home before curfew and you haven't had boys in the back part of the apartment. On your honor you really DID complete the homework you told your teacher you did, but your printer broke. And they trust you. It's an awful lot of responsibility, making sure you're honest in everything. I rather enjoy the trust and responsability, seeing as it makes me more honest in my every day dealings and more aware of when I do something wrong.
School and living aside, the whole social atmosphere is completely different. Everyone wants to go do things. You can so anything with almost anyone. Everyone says hello when you walk by on the street. Everyone is your friend. Heather and I were walking to devotional last tuesday and the wind was really whipping us around. We had just crossed the street from our apartment when a girl and a guy in a car stopped and said, "Hello sisters! Are you going to devotional? We're going to the Hart, would you like a ride? It's too windy to be walking!" So they gave us a ride. It was one of the nicest things I've ever seen done for a complete stranger.
I keep getting sidetracked.
Dating. It's so different here. Half of the guys are pre-mission and will be leaving before next fall so they're not really looking for dates. The other half is divided into three groups. The first group are already dating someone. The second aren't dating anyone, but they're looking for a wife not a girlfriend. The third aren't looking for wives or girlfriends, just a NCMO (non commital makeout). For those of us who would really enjoy going on some casual dates with some fun guys who are just looking to date around are completely out of luck, which is probably why there are so few of us.
It's ridiculous. I really don't care for the dating scene here.

Edit::  2-25-2011
I've found that this post gets more traffic than almost any other post I've ever written, so I figure I might as well update it.  I wrote this back when I was barely 19.  I'm now almost 22, and I have to admit that my feelings towards dating at BYUI have changed.  My first couple semesters were pretty void of dates.  I'm not really sure why, but it was probably because I was an overly excited 18 year old freshman.  As time went on, I dated more, eventually got a boyfriend (that didn't last), and learned to enjoy the dating scene in Rexburg.  It's really not that bad, especially if you just relax and be yourself.  But it certainly took some time to happen because dating at BYUI is a rough game to get into.

I think that too many girls are too aggressive in Idaho.  With the boy to girl ratio a little heavier on the girl side, everything suddenly becomes a competition.  I can remember several instances with good girlfriends of mine where we'd be interested in the same guy and it became a battle of who would laugh the loudest, text him the most, or bake him more cookies.  In the end, neither of us would get the guy.  I like to think it's because the boys out there are practically getting to date a girl (or several) without actually doing anything because she does all the work.  Why should he pursue a girl and ask her out when he's already enjoying the perks of a girlfriend sans DTR?  I think this might be a topic for another post sometime...I just realized that I really have a lot to say on the lack of chivalry and gentlemen at BYUI...and we ladies are mostly to blame.

The whole aggressive girl thing aside, though, dating at BYUI is fun.  People get creative, dates are usually cheap, there's always someone to double with.  I find it most enjoyable when I just relax and let whatever front I usually put up come down.  The point of dating is to get to know people, not to get to know who they want you to think they are.  It makes everything so much better if you can just act like yourself.

I'm excited to get back into the BYUI dating scene.  I've been gone for about a year and a half (and my singles ward at home is completely void of dating.  It's the pits) and am anxious to return.  Bring it on, Idaho.


Erica said...

That's funny that the on-your-honor stuff makes you more honest. I would always think that if the administration was stupid enough to trust us that much, I certainly was going to take advantage of it.

You are a much better person that I.

mrgood1000 said...

I have the same problem! It's so hard to find girls who are satisfied dating casually. Maybe I should transfer to BYU.

BigRedHammer said...

I went to BYU Utah for school. We have the Honor Code as well. However, there is nothing honorable about it all. They don't allow you to do anything "on my honor". No trust. So kudos to BYU-I for actually trusting its students!

Anonymous said...

think dating sites had it pretty tough during the crunch

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