I started to leave a comment on Eryn's blog when I realized that I have a lot to say and I might as well write my own post.
For starters, up until recently I've been in this mindset that I have to really know what I want out of life and I have to chase what I have in mind, whether it be academic or boys or friends, with all my heart. I've always had this big grand plan of what I've wanted to do, when I want to get married, who my best friends are. I know it's great to have my mind set on the future, but I don't think I've been going about it the right way.
I do have a plan for my future and I have lots of things I'd love to do, but I've gotten to the point where I know and understand that everything is subject to change. I'm not majoring in Nursing, as I planned to when I graduated from high school. I'm not living with the friends I thought I would be living with. I'm not dating anyone or am even remotely interested in anyone (a first, I know). Things don't go according to plan, especially with time as a factor.
As far as school goes, I have somewhat of a plan. This week I changed my major for the third time. I've settled on University Studies, which is a tailored major to one's own talents and interests. I've got a cluster in English (literary analysis) and a cluster focusing on Spanish Literature. I also have a ballroom dance minor, but I'm contemplating a couple other minors that might be just as interesting but a bit more useful. These are not things I thought I would end up studying when I started college, but I'm comfortable with them and excited for next semester. I want to finish up college in eight semesters (you get $500 from the school if you do...sweet!) and then head off to Culinary school. But you know, I've been thinking about going on a mission so maybe I won't end up in culinary school. It's all subject to change.
I have great friends. I have friends from high school, from homeschooling, and dear friends from college. This coming semester I might be living with Randi again, but I might move into an apartment with five girls I haven't met. I'm really excited. Being in college I have the opportunity to meet so many different people so while I love my best friends, I'm all for new roommates. Friends are the best.
Then there's the whole dating thing. For a while I thought about all the guys I know and all the ones on missions and there are a couple I thought about and realized that, hey, when he gets home I could see myself marrying him. I even considered waiting (and by waiting I mean going on dates but doing my very best to just happen to be single when the two years end) for one of them. Since considering that and talking with my sister, I realized that I don't need to have a plan with who I want to marry. Sure, there may be someone with whom I'm really close and I might think he would make the perfect husband one day, but there's so much time between now and when anything even could happen that there's no point in trying to map everything out now. And dating at school, with how aggresive and competetive it is, I'm not going to throw myself at every guy I find attractive. I'm in no rush, I don't need a boyfriend ( or fiance/husband). I don't need to worry that if I don't pursue this one boy that I'll lose my chance at love for the rest of my life. If it doesn't work out, there's still someone out there for me. Coming to terms with this has made things so much better for me. I feel like I'm able to relax on dates and be more myself rather than put up a front in order to impress the guy.
Overall, my point is to have a plan but remain flexible. Don't have a plan that's impossible. Don't have a plan that is going to make it so you miss out on all the things life has to offer. Take chances, accept change, let things happen as time allows them to happen.