"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first"

Today in my brit lit class we somehow got onto the topic of nun hats and their shape.  My professor went off on a tangent about these pastries he had in France called religieuses which means nun's hat in French, that was the connection between Hopkins and this delectable French pastry.  He jumped on google images, showed us a picture, then took a good portion of time telling a detailed story about how one goes about eating a religieuse.  Brother Bruggar's stories are so fun.  The tangents make that class so worth it.  I guess the literature is pretty good, too.  I discovered this week that I really like Christina Rossetti.

Anyway, earlier in the semester we were told we would get extra credit if we used British recipes and brought in British desserts, such as figgy pudding and other delightful treats.  Unfortunately, the idea of making a religieuse is much more appealing than whipping up some mediocre pudding.  It wouldn't really be that hard, it's just pastry cream and  pâte à choux.  Essentially, it's a giant cream puff with a smaller cream puff on top.
  

See?  Not that hard.  I've got experience with  pâte à choux and I've watched a pro make it. We had a guest chef (from France!!  I wish I remembered his name) come and teach us the proper method for making it.  It's a slightly difficult dough to work with, but it's not the hardest thing to do.  I haven't made it since culinary school, but my professor told me he'd give me extra credit if I made religieuses for the class.  He also said he'd pay for the ingredients.  Awesome?  Awesome.

I'm going to do a test run this weekend, just to make sure the method I've come up with is going to be appropriate for making my own religieuse.  I've never had one, so I'm being daring and making them my way. I'm really excited.  This is the kind of thing I live for.  If I could just drop out of school and experiment and create desserts, I would.  But then I would get fat.  And be uneducated.  I don't want either of those.

Hurray for religieuses!

"Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces"

I made an hors d'oeuvre today. Well, in reality I mashed together two of my favorite recipes, but it worked! It worked so well that I'm going to do it again this week and take them to class and have everyone salivating at the thought of my rosemary and shallot chicken ebelskivers! And then I will win the hearts of my fellow culinary adventurers! I will be made the hors d'oeuvre QUEEN!

I feel like an evil (ebel?) genius.

Hors d'oeuvres aside, I'm hungry for babies. I got to hold the 21 day old son of my cousin Isabel. His name is Andres and I fell in love. Those tiny, dark eyes just looking up at me and his tiny, tiny nose! I can hardly stand it. I'm lucky there will be a baby in my immediate family this coming year that I'm sure will be making frequent visits to my house, otherwise I'd go crazy. I can't help but be overwhelmed by those still developing maternal feelings inside me.

I was born to be a mother. And a baker. And maybe a candlestick maker.

Limitless

All these changes that have taken place over the past couple months have really been testing me. I've had to really man up and take action and do things that I normally wouldn't be comfortable doing.

My job at the Bread Basket is pretty demanding, especially since I open more than close and that requires me to be there at 6 in the morning. I am not a morning person in the least bit. Getting up at 5 in the morning to go to a highly stressful job where, three months in, I'm still learning how to get everything going isn't my ideal situation. I've been told I do things like a kindergartener and that my writing on the cake looks like crap. Just yesterday a woman called in and yelled at me on the phone, telling me she didn't want fondant or chocolate wrap on her daughters wedding cake, she wanted just frosting! I told her time and again that we don't do that, since it doesn't hold up for that long on display and we've only ever done chocolate wrap or fondant. It went on and on and on and she was really nasty to me. Being a girl who works at BB and simply explaining to her our policy and how we run things doesn't warrant her bad attitude. You don't want chocolate wrap or fondant on the outside? Go to a different bakery and get some nasty cake.

Last night I went out to dinner with the girls from BB for the first time. I was pretty excited because I've felt a little out of place with them. I'm finally making real friends at work and they're pretty chill. Dinner was super fun.

Culinary school is outrageous. I love it and I hate it at the same time. Having been in this program for over three months now (half way!!) I've realized how much I didn't know about cooking. I've learned so much, I don't even know where to begin. About a month ago we had an iron chef type of day where we drew proteins out of a hat and then we had two hours to cook it, add two sides, a sauce, name it, price it, and plate it for chef to taste. I was having anxiety like no other about this day. I even wanted to stay home from the whole day and give up, since it was so intimidating. I was envisioning myself getting shrimp or halibut (both things I know nothing about because I never eat them) but luck was on my side and I ended up with New York strip steak. I pulled it off fairly well, I think, with a cilantro lime rub and oven roasted vegetables.

That challenge is one example of many where this class has pushed my limits. Chef is constantly getting up in my face and making me flustered to the point where I lose my concentration and forget what I'm trying to do. I'm learning as I go and there are many people in the class who're kind of helping me along with the things I don't know about. I've gotten comfortable with not knowing and asking for help. Every time I do, I learn so much.

Whether I'm in class trying my best to follow Chef's fragmented recipes, I'm at work trying to balance ten different things that need to be done at once, or even if I'm keeping a relationship afloat with nearly 4000 miles between us, I'm being pushed. I've stepped up to my limits and shoved back. Every single thing I've learned over these few months has made me become more a woman than a girl. I'm starting to piece together my future and I'm loving every minute.

I am indeed limitless.