“Knowledge is ancient error reflecting on its youth"

Finals are quickly approaching and my brain is melting.  

Friday is the day when I don't have any classes and I use the time to work on my online class, but also to relax and prepare for the weekend. Today, however, I got up early, filled my backpack with books and pencils, and headed to the library.  I wrote papers, took a quiz, and worked on several projects. I feel incredibly productive today.  Seriously, I'm getting things done and it feels so good.

When I consider where I was last December, I've come a long way.  This past year has been such a tumultuous one, with huge ups and huge downs.  I've said it before, but this year has been my year.

Highlights

• Starbucks.  This place was such a fun job.  When I went home for Thanksgiving, I had lunch with my manager and visited with a couple of my former coworkers.  I forgot how much fun I had at that job.  I made life long friends, met some celebrities, and learned the art of coffee making.  I think steaming milk to perfection will always be a part of my nature now.  

Cleaning the ice bin

• Erik.  This guy is one of my best friends ever.  Having him home, living only two blocks away was what saved me from utter despair for a good part of the year.  I'm lucky to have a fun, reliable, trustworthy friend.  

Erik is a pretty, pretty princess

• Moving to Idaho.  Seriously, this was the best thing I could have done this fall.  I had to choose between staying  at home to save up enough money to move to France and moving to Idaho and spending the France money.  I gave up France for Rexburg, Idaho.  A lot of people would see that as a lame choice, but for me it was the better choice.  I have a great apartment, I have great roommate.  

My apartment

• Grades.  This is my best semester ever.  In fact, this is the best I've ever done in school.  I have straight A's.  I am the bomb.

Midterm grades.  Still going strong

I could go on and on about the awesome things that have happened this year.  True, there were some low points and I could go into those, but instead of viewing those things as negatives, I chose to look at the way they've changed me and helped me become who I am today.  

2011 has been a year to remember.  I look forward to it's close and the beginning of 2012.

“Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again”

I just finished my 25th journal.  It took me nearly a year to fill it and now that it's done I feel almost relieved.  A lot happened in this past year.  Now I literally don't have to carry it around with me.  I was listening to Anberlin's album New Surrender and the song Breathe stuck out to me.  I feel like that song describes how I feel right now.
It's long overdue, but I've finally closed that chapter of my life.  Sam isn't someone I need to waste any more time on.  I don't need to dwell on what happened. I'm free.

Breathe
Anberlin

This is surrender
To a war-torn life I've lived.
Scars and stripes forever
In need of change I can't resist.

No need to hide anything anymore.
Can't return to who I was before.

I can finally breathe.
Suddenly alive.
I can finally move.
The world feels revived.

This long of a struggle
Finally opened up my eyes.
Revolution's not easy
With a Civil War on the inside.

No need to hide anything anymore.
Can't return to who I was before.

I can finally breathe.
Suddenly alive.
I can finally move.
'Cause I realize.

I can finally breathe.
Suddenly alive.
I can finally move.
The world feels revived.

I can finally breathe.
Suddenly alive.
I can finally move.
'Cause I realize.

I can finally breathe.
Suddenly alive.
I can finally move.
The world feels revived.

I can finally breathe.
I can finally move.
The world feels revived.




Hurray for beginning again!

“There is nothing wrong with change, if it is in the right direction”

Remember that one time I said I go with my gut?  Yeah, carpe diem seems to be the driving factor behind many of the things that I do. 

I was planning on moving to France in January.  I was really excited, I looked into a lot of costs and I dug out my old passport.  At the time, I really felt good about it because it was time that I did something.  Living at home, working at Starbucks was getting monotonous and I needed a change of scene, a change of people.  France sounded great.  France still sounds great.

I'm not where I was in August when I made that decision.  I feel as though I've undergone an internal change between then and now, understanding more who I am, who I want to be, and what direction I'm heading.  I know now that I'm a better student, more prepared for life at BYU-Idaho.  I've made some connections out here in Idaho with people who work at the local bakers and I feel strongly that I'm going to find a job for the winter. 

Yep, I'm staying in Idaho.  I've signed a contract, its a done deal.  I feel kind of bad for backing out of the France plan, but financially it wasnt going to work out.  It costs a lot of money to travel and live overseas.  Besides, living here in Idaho makes sense.  I'm doing well in school, I have solid friends, and its hard to beat the spirit in this town.  I feel uplifted by the people that surround me and I feel happy.

I'm happier than I've been in a long time.  Things are turning around and working out for me.  It's about time, life.  Let's keep things going this way.

Day 18: Whatever tickles your fancy

I'm swapping day 18 and 19 because I feel like writing about what I want to write about right now.

Carpe Diem.  Seize the day.  It's pretty much the motto of my life.  I'm the type of person who acts on impulse, so if something sounds good and I feel like doing it, I put all my energy towards doing that one thing.  I'm not sure if this is a good thing because I feel like I often times change my mind halfway through powering towards one goal in order to pursue something else.  But eventually some things get done and it feels awesome.  For example...culinary school!  Road trip across the US!  Skydiving!  Getting a job at the bread basket!  Things work out.

My latest fiasco (fyi-fiasco is the word of the day.  I've used it at least seven times) started last Tuesday.  My mom suggested to me that I move to Idaho in the Spring instead of waiting until the Fall and I became obsessed. It felt like a great idea, I haven't had any luck with finding a job out here, and I'm simply ready for a change of pace.  I need new faces and new scenery.  I spent forever looking into apartments out there, figuring out which ones still had rooms open for the spring, which ones I could afford, where people I knew were staying...  I found an apartment, I got all the papers ready to be sent back with the deposit...but then I was told I'm ineligible to even live in BYUI housing until I have a track assigned to me.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with how BYU-Idaho works, there are three semesters: Spring, Fall, and Winter.  When you apply, you are assigned two semesters to attend (your track) and then one semester to have off (your off track.)  This enables the school to have many more students than it's capable of having on a normal school schedule.  It worked out great for me before because I was on the Spring/Fall track.  I attended school in Idaho April-December and then went home January-March.  No cold Idaho winters for me!  However, I'm now in a rut because I have to be reassigned a track since I took so much time off.  I can't live in BYUI housing until the semester I'm accepted to starts.  I don't find out for at least another two weeks. If I'm moving into this apartment complex that I want, I need to sign a contract pretty much now or it'll fill up.  It's an awful situation to be in and the housing/admissions offices aren't helping at all.

But I was saved!  I got a call today from a grocery store I applied to a couple months ago.  I applied for the bakery, but they had a position in their Starbucks open up and they liked my availability.  I went out there and interviewed and they offered me the job on the spot.  35 hours a week, Sundays off, great pay.  I start training on Wednesday.  BYUI will have to wait until September.  Bittersweet.

So, carpe diem.  It might be my saving grace, it might be my demise.  For now, it's making things hectic, but so good.

You may call me The Mormon Barista.